He says that me and him has an understanding that he is waiting to move into and buy a new home and get his life together, so he can be in a better position to committee to me as husband and wife. I personally wouldn't take it too much to heart just because someone is spilling their guts, yes it can be a big bonding factor when you shade deep and personal feelings or secrets with someone and a lot of romantic relationships are forged from that but it may not be indicative of how they feel for you, so just take it s step at a time and don't get too ahead of yourself, make sure you're giving yourself time to judge and assess things properly before reading things the wrong way, you may find yourself more emotionally invested than he was or is based on what you thought he was doing or communicating through his actions, that's always a really slippery slope for many women. If he demonizes the ex as crazy red flag. Trust me, I married one and it turned out 90% of his past was a lie. I am a major culprit of this inadvisable dating behaviour. Especially in the beginning, sharing information about yourself should be on a need-to-know basis.
You also want to know that you can talk about anything without it getting weird. He brings up an ex or past relationship. Now when he tells me I just listen and he just tells me more and more. Most of all, it will offer me some protection from his daily whims. So most men raised in a world and society shaped by other straight men are probably seriously emotionally stunted and have a hard time opening up. If he's sweet, he'll jump in with reassurance.
You have to judge them on the merits of their own actions and the relationship. Whenever we talk he talks about past women he's had sex with, ex girlfriends, women who flirt with him. Keep no contact and if you need to whine or complain, come here or start a venting journal but you have to stop thinking about how his life will end up, as its really none of your biz. Dont ever think he will sit down and enjoy your stories of your past boy friends, for that will scattered the relationship, and if you fail to say your own part on request, he will definitely be dissappointed. It was like he had told me he had committed a murder…and the more I wanted to talk about it…the more irritated he got with me. It is the hallmark of predators, and has been my misfortune, as a younger wounded woman, to open up to that ploy.
His dating history in contrast may be so filtered through his perspective that you may never get the whole side. If you back off and are content, he might open up a bit more. I am currently going through this with my boyfriend, in fact I just got off the phone to which it ended with him talking about a girl we knew in high school and how he was effing her and that she got into crazy positions that he never knew existed and how it made him feel and everything, it really hurt, then he had the nerve to end the convo with ok , I'm heading to bed now, I love you, talk to you in the morning. The exception is knowing where the guy is coming from before entering into a physical relationship with him. His ex, though a man in a dress is still a man. What did it have to do with them? Treat him nonchalantly - be pleasant but not too friendly if you bump into him accidentally. People are writing so much revealing stuff on their Facebook wall, it scares me.
The first sign of attraction and there I go casually mentioning something pretty horrific from my past. My son was very upset about that stmt, saying what is he doing here if your not really dating? His implication was that I should consider myself very lucky to be with such an honest man. You just have to know what to be watching out for. A guy only brings a girlfriend-type of girl home to his family. If one parent is not capable of giving her an abuse free environment, let the mediators have a say. Then, over the course of our relationship, I saw him drive his mother crazy, his own brother crazy and, of course, me. He isnt ready for a relationship now, hes trying to run away when u say it now, who knows he ll ever be ready for it later? So she poured it all out, not just about this family but her whole life in a panic.
As this way I know if they have moved on or learnt from that relationship. One of the women in the group has a friend that was a model in playboy. They talked a really good talk from behind the screen, but became all elbows when it came down to being honest and open and intimate in real-time with a real-live person. My main insecurities in life relate to my past, that people wont accept it or be repelled by it. He will also ask you for his input when it comes to him talking to you. Txt messages were not returned for hours. Actually, never in my whole life have I thought it possible to enter into a sexual relationship with someone without telling them the whole history.
I thought I came off as a tough-as-nails-but-wounded scrappy girl, who just needed a good man to see through her abrasive exterior and touch the rawness inside. At least now the women will think twice before allowing their husbands to take another trip to Vegas…I hope. He was truly supportive, but I always had a lingering worry that he might think I was pycho if I even overreacted to anything he did wrong. I no longer feel guilty about not being the dutiful daughter. He still tries to contact me, asking to talk but I ignore him. Past relationships define us, we learn from them, and the way people talk about them shows what they learned and how they think, whether they see their fault in a breakup at all or not, what they regret and what they appreciated if anything.
I used to think he should be weaponized and used in warfare. So pay attention because the next step to take is vitally important. I think the way a man speaks about his ex says a lot about whether he is ready for a new relationship. Come to think of it, he never told me what he did to change? Do not so much as give him the time of day. He likely gave it to his girlfriend too. He will treasure your thoughts and opinions about his decisions and what you have to say altogether. Based on what you wrote it seems like you are open and ready to date but, be fair to yourself and give yourself a chance to dating a guy who's open and ready just like you.