At some point the younger man's pants come off, and the passing of dominance from one generation to the next is complete. Sadly, although there's a red curtain concealing all the furious digital dink manipulation, it's doubtful that something like this would be picked up by an American network. So maybe it's a little unfair that we Americans keep pointing out , especially considering for their blurred moneyshotting, bug-eyed-cartoon-schoolgirl-loving, tentacle-centric proclivities doesn't come entirely from within. Be careful of swallowing, that can be brutal. When it comes to Japan, nothing surprises us. Spread Your Legs Is it a torture device? I don't speak Japanese, so I won't pretend to be able to give you a precise play-by-play on what exactly happened there. As if this symbolic demonstration of his shameful inadequacy wasn't enough, the scene degenerates into the younger man pelting him with the balls, while the young women look on and laugh.
Our aging contestant is next paired with a younger competitor, and the still-slippery ladies begin forcing rubber balls down both of their shorts. In this game of human shuffleboard, the player attempts to slide himself as close as possible to a woman's bikini'd mammaries without actually making contact. Or at least 8 inches. But we're well into a brand-new millennium now, so why the hell wouldn't a major network air a prime-time competition that features a male porn star trying to keep from blowing his load for as long as possible while a flamboyant, portly gentleman tries to suck the proverbial chrome off his trailer hitch? Were they holding time trials for a new, shamefully gratuitous Paralympics event? Timberlake, this guy isn't holding back from expressing his terrified revulsion. This clip perfectly encapsulates the unique Japanese ability to combine cloying, saccharine cuteness with the brutal savagery of mankind's most base desires. If you pay attention, even the background music an overdubbed Japanese version of Every Breath You Take by The Police evokes the grimly depressing atmosphere of a city-limits strip bar during lunch on a Wednesday.
It's basically what they did to Alex in A Clockwork Orange, but with a studio audience and presumably lovely parting gifts. Unless you count the cockroach itself, which was finally freed from serving as a pawn to man's eternal, pointless struggle to find meaning in a meaningless world. Apparently they were merely simulating two icebound paraplegics trying to evade a walrus attack. What the winner of this apparent human-trafficking audition receives in terms of compensation is unclear, although an engraved, glitter-encrusted bronze speculum seems appropriate. These Calvin Klein underwear ads just keep getting more and more inscrutable. I don't want to jump to conclusions.
The Bushido code tolerates no weakness in either fighting spirit or penile rigidity. The Nikkei Index is on the rise, if you know what I mean. This is still easier than the one-hand-behind-the-back trick. Girl in the Shower Diaper-wearing men attempt to climb a slick surface to reveal a shower panel covering a naked woman. After an initial exploratory foray and the removal of a hair from his teeth the challenger renews his efforts, a hush draws over the crowd, and the game is afoot! But the man's torment doesn't end there. Breast Jiggle Speed Competition Yeah, weird. Hopefully she doesn't jerk away, since she would probably like it even less if it got in her hair.
Which is still pretty impressive. Endure Pain For Titties Japan is famous for its game shows that seem to be thinly disguised excuses for inflicting Geneva Conventions violation-level abuse on the contestants. For instance, did you know that right now the purest distillation of the existential horror that passes for boner fuel in Japan isn't found in their pornography, animated or otherwise? Or a laugh track, whatever. The man's harrowing ordeal is finally brought to an end as the young women tackle him to the ground and tickle him into tearful submission, while the host and the younger man toss buckets full of an unknown fluid onto the writhing mass of skin and sadness. The gist here is, a bevy of coquettishly costumed, tee-heeing girls are , then somebody spins a wheel to decide how far their legs will be mechanically forced apart amid an accompanying chorus of high-decibel screech-giggling. Or maybe that tentacle fetish thing has finally come full circle and now they're cross-breeding women with actual squid? The Exorcist 4: Pazuzu's All Up In Your Vajayjay At least the winner got a out of the deal and was hired to star in the.
There's no criteria where you're judged on how lovely your singing voice is or how well you emote the pathos expressed in the original version of the song. Turns out it's in their game shows. Appearing to be exhausted from his efforts, the challenger withdraws momentarily. All videos are hosted by 3rd party websites. Though one girl did succeed in propelling a cockroach into her opponent's windpipe, there are no winners here.
But really, what better sign could there be for the Japanese economy than the emergence of a trend like yen bukkake? But who wasn't inspired by Orgasm War's story of a plucky underdog coming from out of nowhere to emerge triumphant over the cocky champ? At least she'll surely be given a sizable bump in her starting bid once the next underground auction rolls around. Let's begin with , where some dudes attach clamps to their nose, nipples, and eyelids, then try to pull off ladies' bras. All visual depictions displayed on this web site, whether of actual sexually explicit conduct, simulated sexual content or otherwise, are visual depictions of persons who were at least 18 years of age when those visual depictions were created. The show is called , and the object of the game is to try to maintain your singing focus while a hot, fake nurse is Or she could be an actual medical professional. Tollbooth employees are the scourge of most gentlemen's clubs. Everyone is a winner here, right? Welcome to 'diet-related decreased arterial blood flow for the fellatio.
Sanitary concerns aside, winner and loser alike appear positively giddy afterward, despite having just engaged in an activity that seems more like a documentary on vaginal demon possession than any recognized sport. Who knows for sure, but we like what we see. If only Howard Cosell had lived to see this day. Adding to the degradation, everyone in the clip seems somewhat nervous and unsure of how they even wound up there, with the forced smiles and uncomfortably long eye contact with the camera that's typical in the kind of movies in which Ron Jeremy shows up at the door with a pizza. That's more than we can say for the next group, unless there's some award for how quickly and effectively young women can make their parents sob uncontrollably while wondering where, exactly, things went so horribly wrong. You're goddamn right it's sexy -- especially if your turn-ons include cellar-wall-mounted hitchhiker restraints and moth husbandry.
While I don't want to imply that his fortitude was anything less than exemplary, it still should be pointed out that his efforts may have been assisted in no small amount by the woman's choice of attire -- a dominatrix-style, possibly edible outfit with a level of structural integrity similar to Janet Jackson's floppity flapjack Super Bowl ensemble. Glass Pommel Horse So basically, some chick rides a bunch of dudes trapped inside of a glass container while they look up her skirt and gasp for air. There is real, palpable fear on the faces of the girls and presumably the roach as they struggle determinedly to demonstrate their oral prowess, while the threat of eventually having to swallow something alive, yet considered by many to be distasteful and vile, hangs in the balance. If fastening ball gags to Hello Kitty dolls is your thing, this should also serve quite nicely. For all those outraged over the on American television, you really haven't seen anything until you've watched women objectified to the point of turning them into disposable casino nickel buckets. It seems more like the poor man is being cruelly forced to relive a recurring impotency nightmare as public humiliation for his recent onset of andropause.